Reborn

He looked at the world with the innocent eyes, a new born baby. Out of the ashtray where he died. No. Died is the wrong word. He could not describe what it was.

He had thought he knew what it was like to be free. To sing and fly.

In that fire, he was a single soul, without a body.

That was not dying. In that moment he had lived. A phoenix. Immortal.

Phoenix

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Lost On Words

For 15 years she made money out of words. Talking. Reading. Writing. Words. Words. Words.

In an all furnished apartment with more than enough luxuries along with her loving husband, she was, what they called, “living the dream”.

That night as she lay beside the man she married, she could see the lies in his eyes and in that moment, looking at her, he asked, “Do you love me?”.

Words failed to describe what she felt and for the first time she acted instead of talking.

His eyes opened no more. No more lies will be heard out loud. She smiled at the irony as she realized she had built her life out of words. That she will utter them no more.

Crowded

We look at the world. Observe. Evaluate. Judge. We see ourselves and we see others. We see them as individuals and a part of the whole crowd. Everything exists at the same time. And yet there’s a difference between every single being. There’s something I’m missing every day. And it’s staring right at my face. Like a mirror in disguise. Like a mirage in my mind. From the last day to my first, I find myself in this unknown world. Taking it all in and yet staying away from it.

How do I survive, how do I breathe, how do I know the difference between you and me.

Identity Crisis

“Mom!”

She turned around reflexively before she realized that it wasn’t her boy calling.

“Mom, what is it?”, her own child asked.

She looked up at him, and smiled, as he finally reached the top of the slide.

“Nothing. Come on then, I’ll catch you.”

“Darling!”

She looked at her husband and smiled. She walked towards him as he introduced her to his colleagues.

“This is my lovely wife.”

“Alice! Alice!”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were calling me. What is it?”, she turned towards her work partner as she called out her name.

She yawned and slept off embracing the night, forgetting who she really was. Or finding where she truly belonged.

The Ten Minutes Ramble.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Ready, Set, Done!.”

Imagine the time you almost fell. Was it scary? Was it exciting? Did you feel your heart? Did you feel the wind?

Did you think that maybe you wouldn’t fall? Did you realize that you skipped a beat?

Was it your first time?

Was it your last?

Was the thought of survival in your mind? Did it go blank, just like mine?

Because the day I fell from the chair was also the day I flew in the air.

Maybe it was the smell of the flowers. Maybe it was boy beside me.

Maybe it was the fact that nothing mattered except me.

But I found out that stories can be well written. Experience is a different thing.

Reading it can be more interesting than a dream.

So I call out to the birds and the trees,

And in the end, it will always be me.

Clear as sky and muddy at the same time.

Fallen a million times, yet never fallen behind.

And all of this may seem deranged, or make sense in a way

But all these are just plain thoughts in my brain

That come out occasionally and I ramble on with no end.

NAILED IT! B-)

Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo!

“A dream is a wish your heart makes, When you’re fast asleep.

In dreams you will lose your heartaches, Whatever you wish for, you keep.

Have faith in your dreams, and someday, Your rainbow will come smiling through.

No matter how your heart is grieving, If you keep on believing,

The dream that you wish will come true.”

-Cinderella.

It was February 7th, the Rose Day. The lovely girl of age 10 was walking with her best friend and saw the streets decorated with hearts and roses. Blue was her favorite color. But she liked how shops were color co-ordinated, even if it was the red color. She saw girls carrying roses of all colors in their hands. They had bright smiles and kept smelling the flowers. She did not understand the deal behind that. Do roses even have a smell? She could never identify it. She asked the florist nearby for a rose. The man smiled and gave her a beautiful pink rose. She sniffed it tentatively. Nope. Still nothing. She smiled at the florist and returned the rose. “No. Keep it. Happy Rose day. “, he said. “Thank you.”, she said with a bright smile. She made her way back to her home. On the way she saw a dustbin and trashed the rose.”Why did you do that?” her best friend asked.”Flowers are pointless when they are not in a garden.”, she said.

On the 8th of February, her 13 year old mind was wondering why her friend was so upset that a girl did not talk to him all day. It was a good day and they were at her place playing cards. Why was it so important? Even she hadn’t spoken to him the day before that. And the one before that. Was he sad about that? “Just call her.”, she said. “No! If she wanted to talk then she would’ve called.”, her friend replied. “She did not even wish me back when I texted her Happy Proposal Day!.”, he continued. She shrugged her shoulders and let the topic collapse. She did not understand this and she got a feeling that asking him about why he did not wish her first was a bad idea. She shuffled the cards, while her friend continued the ranting about the girl who did not wish him.

She opened her locker on 9th February. There was a box of chocolates sitting there with a note “Happy Chocolate Day.” She took the box in her hand and looked around the corridor. Nobody stood out in particular. Her 14 year old self had not yet learnt to curb curiosity. Nor had it learnt to shut up. She took the box of chocolates to her friend and told him about how she did not know where it came from. “You have a secret admirer! This is hilarious!”, her friend teased her. But she did not give him any reaction. She felt a flutter in her heart. Somebody liked her. She started investigating with her Sherlock mode on and her best friend beside her like Dr. Watson. She found out that the boy from her English class thought she was pretty and cute and wanted to go on a date with her. She had hardly ever spoken to the boy twice in her entire life. She thought he was very nice. Before she knew he liked her. Did he really even know her? The day came to a disappointing end. The chocolates helped. It was better when the secret admirer was still a secret to her.

The morning of 10th February, she woke up late. She almost missed the bus. Her hair was a mess. She reached the school late and got a remark. She was caught sleeping in the first class. She forgot to get the book for her second class. She had an incomplete project, which was to be submitted that day. A surprise quiz was taken on the only topic she was a bit shaky on. Her boyfriend had broken up with her the night before and thought she wasn’t good enough for him. It was the worst day in her entire 15 years of life. She got through most of the day, but couldn’t hold on till the end and cried with her face in her palms. Her friend consoled her and hugged her. “I have something for you. Close your eyes.”, her best friend said. She wasn’t really in a good mood, but she knew her best friend since she was 10. There was no point arguing with him. So she closed her eyes. Her friend kept something in her hand and she could feel the fur of the teddy bear and it made her smile. “Happy Teddy Bear Day!”, her friend exclaimed. She hugged him and they both started laughing. It was a small teddy bear and she knew he was mocking the day. This was what made their friendship special. They did not need anyone else or anything more.

“What happened?”, she said. It was the 11th of February and her best friend had called her and asked her to meet him immediately. They met outside the fast food joint. “I’m sorry. Do you mind walking with me for a while?”, he asked. She wondered why he needed to ask this question when he had never really bothered asking her anything before. They had spent 6 years of their 16 years of life as best friends. “Yes. Sure.”, she said. And they walked on the pavement. He told her how his girlfriend had broken up with him just a day before. His girlfriend’s best friend had gotten a bigger teddy bear than the one he had given her. She accused him of not loving her enough and never considering what she wanted. How she had specifically told him which teddy bear she liked a month back. “How am I supposed to remember?”, he said. She never really liked his girlfriend. But she told him that things would be fine. That his girlfriend was being unreasonable. She told him that the girl will come around when she realizes her mistake. “And then you can be gross again!”, she joked. He laughed. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”, he teased. The mood became a little light. “Let’s go have an ice cream.”,she said. They sat in the ice cream parlor and tried every flavor available before settling for their usual order. One cotton candy and one mint with chocolate chips. They laughed all their troubles out. “Thanks for coming today. I needed it.”, he said. “I promise you that I will be there for you when ever you need me. But don’t you dare be formal with me like you were today. It’s creepy.”, she said. He smiled lightly and looked at her. “I promise I’ll be there for you as well.”, he said solemnly. “To promises! Happy Promise Day!”, she said, raising her cup of ice cream in a mock representation of a toast. “Yes! To promises”, he said, returning the mock gesture.

“Happy Hug Day!”, she yelled while running and hugging her best friend. “And what is your excuse for hugging me when it is not a 12th February?”, he asked laughing at her enthusiasm and returning the hug. She shrugged and did not answer. She did not get the point of any of these days and she knew he was aware of that and was just teasing her. She was 19 years old and in the past four years, it was the first time she or her best friend did not have their hearts broken. It had been a while since February was actually relaxing. She had no expectations. Nothing to look forward to except a day filled with mocking couples and making fun of all the gifts passed around with her best friend by her side. It was a warm day after a long time.

He kissed her softly on the lips and whispered, “Happy Kiss Day.” She smiled. He had always been this cheesy. Since when was she into that? “Always.”, a soft voice said in her head and she knew it was right. “To you too.”, she replied back. “You really need to tone down the love, though. I mean, really? You are going to celebrate 13th February? Kiss Day?”, she said, moving away. “Ha! No, I don’t need to tone down anything. And you know it.”, he said smiling slyly. He knew she liked it. After all, they knew each other since they were 10. And she was 21 years old now. How did they grow up so fast? They held hands and talked about normal stuff. The rest of the day was just like any other day. Nothing much had changed and yet everything had changed since the time he had asked her out. She intertwined her fingers around his and knew that they belonged. She had known it, since a long time now.

She woke up from her sleep, but kept her eyes closed. She tried remembering the date. Was it 15th February? She thought about all the years that had passed by. There wasn’t one year when she wasn’t with him. Somehow they always ended up spending the 14th of February together. All the long years, even in different continents, they were glued together. She did not know how it happened, she was just glad that they did. Because all those days led up to her dream about him going down on his knee in a room filled with candles on the Valentine’s Day and asking her to marry him. She was a successful 26 year old woman now. And she knew this wonderful man for 16 years. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. She raised her left hand in front of her eyes and opened them. The ring on her finger smiled brightly at her. Her dreams did come true.

Psychopathic Sympathies

Slash. The blade cuts through the skin neatly. The sharp pain and then, nothing. She looks at her wrist intently. Was she good enough now?

The drop of red, slowly escapes and is set free. She smiles, satisfied. Closes her eyes. Yes. That was the pain she could take.

She left the wound to heal itself. There was nothing more to think. She could sleep in peace, again.